PHOGS! PS4 Review
Firstly – what is a ‘phog’? I thought it was a play on the word ‘dog’ but what’s the other half? Where does the ‘ph’, that is plastered all over the marketing material, come from? Or even the sound, the ‘f’? We racked our brains in search of an answer but it just seems to be a thing that they did for no reason – it drove us mad! Fortunately, the game itself is perfect for remedying that. It is one of the cutest, most playful, and pastel games out there and each of the three main worlds (themed around sleep, play, and food) are totally adorable in their own unique ways. The NPCs especially stand out in that regard, being inconsequential story-wise (as there really isn’t one), but shaping the feel of each area with their endearing nature and comical interactions. The whole game, from start to finish, is so wholesome and magical that it just kind of makes you happy.
Sadly, though, the gameplay falls a bit… phlat. PHOGS! is primarily a cooperative experience, where each player controls one head of a double-sided snake-dog-thing. It can be played solo, by having the different sides of the controller handle a different pupper, but it’s not really aimed at that as it’s nowhere near stimulating enough to lean into. The players can only really move, grab, and extend their sausage dog style body to reach farther. Working together using these basic actions, the team must solve puzzles and navigate a slew of obstacles to progress through six levels, plus a sort of boss event, for each of the worlds and then a final, much longer, trial area. And whilst each of the diverse locations are vastly different in terms of puzzles and design, most of the time the players are just going through the motions, with only a small handful of sections presenting any sort of challenge at all and even then it’s only to chase a bone – the optional collectibles of choice, that are scattered all over and can be used to purchase delightful headwear.
Of course my partner and I picked up absolutely everything: all seventy seven bones, the hidden alien in each stage, and the secret world artists. Nothing ever had us stop to think, although many of the side-quest style puzzles (such as eating hot chilis to breathe fire and turn corn into popcorn) were amusing. The only things that ever slowed us down were bugs. We often got stuck in the terrain and worst of all – one of the bones we collected somehow didn’t count towards the final total, even though each zone is completely filled out. Honestly, more than anything, I simply believe we’re the wrong target audience for the title. I feel like it would work better with a parent and child, so the adult can lead and teach communication and teamwork because otherwise it’s basically just execution, which is only ever made difficult by physics issues. Swinging across gaps one head at a time, redirecting air and water flows by having one dog suck on the end of a pipe whilst the other stretches out to use their body like a hose, or using the automatic contraction to pull heavy obstacles into position are pretty much the brunt of the experience and never really evolve. It’s never not funny, but rarely much fun.
I mean, there are different sections with interesting gimmicks, such as freezing the phogs when stretched out in order to reach across gaps, some fun arcade games, and probably my favourite are the light and wind-up clock mechanics in the sleep region. They do a lot to change it up, sure, but they never push any one system any further than basic utilities. This is further evidenced in the final area where, even when there’s a huge gameplay change, the solutions still end up being mostly the same. I have to echo that it just wasn’t the title for us; we love coops but have become battle-hardened by the likes of Overcooked, Biped, and Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, etc. This one was too much of a breeze and whilst we loved the look of every single level, “awwww”d at the sight of so many interactions (especially enjoying the guitar playing bedbug), danced around with a bunch of awesome hats, and basically just had a jolly time, it was always hollow.
Most people won’t even give this one a second look – it’s not exactly a heart-pumping triple-A action-fest or a brain-bending puzzler, and it definitely isn’t telling a meaningful story, but for the right couple of people it may just be exactly what they need. Are you trying to get your partner into gaming, or show a niece or nephew the ropes? This one might just captivate the two of you. It’s not quite the demanding test of cooperation and technique that we prefer but it could easily be used as an entertaining gateway with one person quarterbacking the gameplay. PHOGS! is never dishonest about what it is. It wears its light-hearted silliness on its sleeve, with its winning aesthetics, childish aura, and bonny, bouncy soundtrack. However, what it is just wasn’t for us.
