Noel Gallagher says games responsible for knife crime

Oasis songwriter and guitarist Noel Gallagher has joined the debate on youth knife crime in the UK. Noel (who once expressed a wish for a fellow musician to “catch AIDS and die) was speaking to BBC Newsbeat at the Silver Clef Music Therapy awards when he shared his insight into this inescapable topic.

Gallagher (who has called Britain “a nation of moaning sissies”) said, “People say it’s through violent video games and I guess that’s got something to do with it. If kids are sitting up all night smoking super skunk [cannabis] and they come so desensitised to crime because they’re playing these video games, it’s really, really scary.”

Please, tell us more Noel!

When asked what the solution to this widespread problem might be, Noel “I’m true to myself, so f**k everyone else” Gallagher replied “I don’t even know what Cameron or Gordon Brown are going to do about it.”

Noel (who is known for his prolific use of the word c**t) said it was “a pity scumbags are taking over our streets. In my day, status was trying to be somebody, do you know what I mean, not trying to kill somebody?”

Next week, Noel Gallagher solves the crisis in the Middle East. Stay tuned!