Christmas Massacre PS5 Review
Originally released just under two years ago on PC, Christmas Massacre is the third instalment of Puppet Combo’s ‘Larry’ series – a group of third-person 3D slasher titles where the player controls the psychotic serial killer, Larry, instead of being on the receiving end of murder like most of their other projects. Still framed in that classic deteriorating VHS manner and designed as a worse-than-reality PS1 game for those disturbing dream-like horror vibes of course. Armed with mostly a knife, it’s down to the player to snuff out everyone in each of the eight small stages, egged on by a fantastic talking Christmas tree. Though there are stealth mechanics that allow you to sneak around in the dark, all that seems completely superfluous when it’s easy enough (and a big time saver) to go all stab-happy and simply chase the unlucky subjects down. …And that’s really all there is to it, honestly. Unlocking the ability to throw knives which auto-aim and hit their mark only if they feel like it and a flamethrower that, while great at closing off exits if you’re still considering the slow and methodical approach like a nerd, also doesn’t seem to impact the gameplay meaningfully because of how effective the old ‘wave your knife around at groups of individuals until they stop living’ is.
I mean, I guess you could map out each of the individual paths the soon-to-be victims walk in order to plan the safest and most efficient route like it was some sort of multi-leveled interconnecting Hitman mission, or perhaps the more direct Manhunt is a better example, but there’s really no need. After a couple of quickly-failed attempts at being an aggressive human exterminator and getting seen from across the way by someone who is already practically halfway out the door, you’re able to rework your plan and attack from a better angle, prioritising targets and blocking useful escape routes with minimum effort. Anyway, racking up that quick-kill combo and blazing through an area with naught but the pointy end of your death stick is also the best way to get a good score, so it’s not like I was playing it wrong. The whole thing feels as though it was made as a silly role-switching study. I don’t believe it was ever meant to be more than its title but the controversy and popularity of this niche-now-trend style has blown it out of proportion and there’s no foundation to support it under that pressure. A game ‘banned on xbox and switch’, oooh it must be pretty special! Really it’s just an extended demo meant to test how a genre reversal might play.
That may make it sound like it comes from out of nowhere but there are narrative links to the other ‘Larry’ games and even Nun Massacre, weirdly. Actually it’s more than a ‘link’ because there are two whole levels that re-use that building map in its entirety. I assume this was done to save time, sure, but also to draw in fans of that entry (being that it’s no doubt the most popular of the bunch thanks to it being absolutely horrifying and thus perfect streamer bait). Plus, if you are one of us that have been scarred by that mental nun, there’s the added benefit of getting to take your terribly satisfying pseudo-revenge on those straw-man sister models for what they put you through. However, even with these ties, most everything surrounding the story is played out as an homage to defining horror movies or for a laugh. There’s no deeper meaning to be uncovered here – no psychological insight into the mind of a madman or any sort of political message about the effects of consumerist Christmas on the minds of a disconnected and ever worse-off society. And it never promised that. It’s just a bloody diversion made for people to go a little wild and peek through the looking glass of traditional slasher horror.
It’s unfortunate then that whilst it does start off as a gruesome bit of fun to play from the other side, the experience hurriedly becomes monotonous and somehow manages to outstay its welcome in spite of the already brief ninety-minute playtime. It’s not just the lack of purpose but the absence of interesting level designs or the need to learn and overcome NPC behaviour. There’s never enough going on so you’re either simply running around making mincemeat or waiting for folk to move. Personally, that’s not enough to keep me happy pulling off my Michael Myers impression but hey, maybe I just got all that out of my system back on GTA III twenty odd years ago. It’s nice to see Puppet Combo mess around and make whatever they want to because what are these games if not investigative deconstructions and crazed experiments, but next to the greats like Babysitter Bloodbath, Nun Massacre, and The Glass Staircase, Christmas Massacre sits closer to the bottom of the list alongside Samhain and the likes.
