The 7 Holy Rules of Mario Kart


SSSSSSSSSSSsss BANG. The sound of a blue shell. Familiar to us all. Admit it, you all panicked a little then, but calm down oh nervous one. I am here to explain to you the rules of Mario Kart.

1. The only thing that counts is the last 30 seconds of a race.

2. It’s ALWAYS your turn to have bad luck.

3. It’s not over ’til it’s over.

4. It’ll always hit you, somehow.

5. You may dodge that bomb, but the idiot next to you is sure to take you down with them.

6. Bad things happen in larger numbers than 3’s.

7. If you think you’ve won, you obviously can’t hear the blue shells.

Go now in knowledge that you’ve been enlightened. If you have any more suggestions for rules of Mario Kart, post them as comments below and share them with your fellow disgruntled drivers.