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Preview – Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef [Demo] PC

Warhammer’ can mean a lot of things. Even separating the video games, books, board games, TTRPGs, and everything else that has spawned from the original tabletop minis game, the term ‘Warhammer’ is a huge blanket that encompasses just about every genre and style of storytelling. Mostly this is because the licensing seems to be very accessible, but that has allowed for levels of creativity unheard of in any other franchise. And whilst I love the dark, brutish lore of these universes, especially around the hellish tales that come from failed Gellar Fields (where are my Event Horizon fans at?!), I still think my favourite thing is when they go all out on simply taking the piss. Blood Bowl, for example, is an entire spin-off franchise about what American Football might look like in a fantasy universe, complete with all of the violence one might expect from such a ludicrous endeavour. Shootas, Blood & Teef is a similarly campy take on the comically combat-packed life of an Ork.

For the crime of stealing your hair squig – a sort of living hairpiece, you must murder your way through legions of your own kind to prove your worth to them, assimilate those left over into your army, and lead a charge on your (now) nemesis Warlord. I mean, what else is there to do on a Tuesday? Full of explosive limb-busting weaponry and a total disregard for grammar, this 2D action platformer is all about the minute-to-minute violence, and I’m all for it. Armed with a small arsenal of guns, a belt full of grenades, a dodge roll, and a rage mode for when you really need to bring the whoop-ass, it’s down to you and perhaps a couple of friends to blast your way through the ranks of opposing Orks, cut their champions down to size, and take your revenge on the one that dare test you.

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ROIGHT, NUF O’ DAT PANZY GIT COZ ‘AV GOT BIG NEWZ! GUTREKKA ‘AZ GON AN’ NICKED ME SQUIG AN’ I AIN’T TAKE LIGHTLEE TO DAT! ME PLAN IZ PRETTY SIMPUL, YEH? WE’Z GUNNA GET DA BOYZ TUGEFFA AND WE’Z GONNA TEK T’FITE TO ‘IM! ‘AV GOT PLENNY ‘O GUNZ ‘AN STIKKBOMBS T’ CHUK AT ‘IZ LOT SO I DUN CARE IF ‘E ‘AZ WUN HUNDRID KANNONZ – NUFFIN’ IZ GUNNA STOP UZ! 

WE’Z IZ GOIN T’ WAAARGH!!!!!

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Demo available for all during the first Steam Next Fest of 2022 (Feb 21 – 28).