The Incredible Hulk PS3, Xbox 360 Review
RAWHHHHH! Hulk angry at game. Make Hulk look silly. Hulk not really like this. Hulk really strong. Hulk lift heavy things. Game make Hulk look puny. Puny like puny human. Game wrong! No fun being green.
Remember Ultimate Destruction? It was also a game about Hulk. Better game. This kind of like Ultimate Destruction. Not good though. This one have too many silly missions that make Hulk do silly things. This one has mini games!! Hulk hate mini games! If Hulk want mini games Hulk go play Wii with family. Silly mini games make Hulk carry taxies around. Hulk no want to carry taxi. If Hulk wanted taxies Hulk play Crazy Taxi. Hulk loved to make CRAZY MONEY! Hulk loved old Sega. Hulk loved Dreamcast. Had good times with Samba De Amigo.
Other parts like GTA. Not as good though. Hulk can visit many place in city. Hulk don’t need car. Hulk hate car. Hulk jump instead. Jump big. Jump far. Hulk climb building too. But Hulk climb slow. Hulk liked to go up Ultimate Destruction buildings. He ran up buildings better then. Was better for Hulk in old days. Hulk also has wanted level like Nico. Hulk smash lots then people follow Hulk. Cops and soldiers all want Hulk. Hulk Smash them too. If Hulk wants them to go away Hulk go into subway then come out again. People then go away. Hulk like this weird magic.
Other missions even worse. Objectives silly. Story stupid. Hulk hate these. Many escort and protection missions in game. Hulk have to hunt for tokens. Hulk no likes tokens. Only good token give Hulk half price Heinz beans in Tesco. Many checkpoint races in game too! Hulk does not want to race. Hulk don’t understand why people like Lewis Hamilton. All this is worst part of Hulk game. Everything clichéd. Developers copy other sandbox games. Hulk hate repeating himself. Hulk hate repeating himself. ARGHHHHHHH. Hulk repeated himself. Hulk hate that.
Hulk gets to fight too. Hulk love fighting. But Hulk fight same people all the time. Hulk fight same robots all the time. Just in different places. More repeating. ARGHHHH. But Hulk can throw people at buildings. Hulk like this. Hulk can even smash buildings away. But building reappears. This magic scare Hulk. Hulk can use Rage powers. Make Hulk more angry. Make Hulk smash more. Make Hulk throw cars. Make Hulk health come back. Hulk must level though. Hulk can’t run at start of game. Must unlocking running. THIS MAKE HULK SMASH.
Hulk see many bugs it game. Bugs ruin fun. Hulk no like bugs. Make Hulk look silly. Hulk see pop-up. HULK HATE POP-UP! Hulk see objects clipping. This bad. City looks bad too. Textures look like PS2 game. Hulk smash PS2 long ago. Bad frame-rate drops in Hulk game too. HULK HATES FRAME DROPS!!! Animations bad too. Make Hulk look like robot. Hulk not a robot. Hulk also hates voice actors who sound sleepy. Wake up Ed Norton and Tim Roth!!! Puny actors don’t care about game. Sound bored all the time. Worse than Toby in Spiderman game. Hulk hate him. Hulk make glue from Seabiscuit. Puny horse.
Hulk summarise now! Game about Hulk okay in places. Could be better though. Most missions bad. Free-roaming good. But Hulk thinks he deserve better. Hulk has a heart. Why these game developers hate Hulk so? Hulk could offer so much more too puny developers. Hulk has potential. Make better game next time puny developers! If not HULK SMASH your computer! HULK SMASH vending machines!! HULK SMASH cafeteria!!! HULK SMASH cars!!!! HULK SMASH you!!!!!