Little Britain: The Video Game PS2
I think I’ve found something that deserves universal hatred… something that is appalling and disgraceful… something that is a kick to the nuts and a middle finger insult right in your face at the same instant. Not only that, it is an insult to your mother, father and every single one of your grandparents. If you are old enough, it is also slap in your children’s face from the unwashed hand of someone who has just spent 10 minutes in an unhygienic outdoor lavatory. It is the equivalent of watching 7 seasons of Lost then being struck by a fatal illness and missing the mind-exploding conclusion. It is also the equivalent of Jack Bauer dying after tripping on a skateboard and Nelson from the Simpsons appearing to give a quick ‘ha ha’ at the unfortunate accident. It is everything that could go wrong with a game condensed into one gooey green lump of phlegm spit directly in your face… this is Little Britain: The Video Game! Welcome!
It’s Passed On!
Now! I know all games deserve a chance but in all honesty I really see no point in talking about this title in any kind of in-depth detail, but seeing as you have graciously clicked on this link rather than going out to buy the game – which at the time of writing sits at second place in the UK all format charts – I will try and explain why it is so, so bad.
This Game Is No More
The basic premise of the game – AKA the bad idea that fell out of someone’s arse about a year ago – is that you are offered the chance to play parts of the TV show via a collection of eight different mini-games. I personally love these types of game and have had great fun with friends playing Rayman Raving Rabbids and Smooth Move on the Wii recently. Unfortunately the mention of friends is the game’s first – of many – problems as it is a single player game only. Now normally we’d say this is a silly thing to leave out of a game but for Little Britain: The Video Game it really does not matter as the rest of the game is so bad nothing could save it.
It Has Ceased To Be!
If you are still reading then I will guess you want to know what the eight mini-games on show are. Well, I shall tell you… they feature Lou and Andy, Vicky Pollard, Mr. Mann, Emily and Florence, Marjorie Dawes, Daffyd Thomas, Judy & Maggie and Letty. All of the games play different from the last but all share the same attribute of being completely void of any form of entertainment.
It’s Expired And Gone To Meet Its Maker!
Let’s go into detail on the games. Vicky Pollard is up first where you are tasked with suiting her up in a pink bikini and pair of roller-skates and hunting down CDs in a park. When written in words this actually sounds fun – and you’d be forgiven for comparing it to collecting S-K-A-T-E in the Tony Hawk games – but it is actually a terribly uncontrollable, sluggish, boring and repetitive mess. Controlling Vicky is comparable to playing the old Skate or Die! title from 1987 – which we will admit was good in its day but we have moved on!
This Is A Late Game
Next up on the joyous merry-go-round of despair is Lou and Andy – you will probably have heard of these guys even if you are not a fan of the series. For their mini-game their most famous sketch is put into the hands of the player; where Lou speaks to the pool attendant and Andy – once again – gets out of his wheelchair. The unfortunate person that chooses to play the game then controls Andy and tries to make it up the diving board and jump off, you then are forced to do this as many times as you can before the time runs out. Now, be warned this once again sounds like it could be fun but it’s not. You see, you don’t control Andy; you instead hammer the PS2’s X button to walk up a ladder and then hammer all the other button to pull of combos as he jumps.
It’s A Stiff
Still reading? Marjorie Dawes is up next and this time instead of coming up with their own idea the dev’s have ripped off Pac-Man. Marjorie is placed in a supermarket and the shelves make up a maze… you then move around picking up something of the floor – I think it was biscuits but my brain had given up at this point so I can’t be sure. Anyway, long story short… I did not like this game either! The Letty Bell game does not even deserve its own paragraph as it is just a extremely basic Whack-A-Mole. In fact the Emily and Florence mini-game might as well go in this paragraph as well as it is just a basic football game – albeit with extremely poor controls where you try and score a goal to win points.
Bereft Of Life
Ok let’s move on to a new paragraph now – even though the mini-game does not really deserve it. The penultimate game is based on the exploits of Judy & Maggie and is another rip of; this time of the Columns puzzle game – except it contains vomit. This mini-game probably best sums up how I feel about the game. The last mini-game on show is for Dafydd and for this game the retro classic Paperboy has been ripped off badly, where you run over homosexuals while on a bicycle and collect copies of the Gay Times. Strangely enough there is supposed to be another mini-game available but after playing the game for about 4 hours and stumbling through the menus and even playing it a bit more I could not get it to unlock. I then searched though the internet trying to find out what I was ‘missing out’ on but could not do so. It seems no one else cared and quite honestly neither could I.
It Rests In Peace
So there we have it… is there anything in here to entertain anyone that chose to buy this? Well for once I believe we have a game that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. In fact you could leave your PS2 on until the end of time and your pubes would turn grey waiting to find something chuckle-worthy out of it. But wait, there is one good point that springs to mind… if you play the game enough then you can unlock clips of the show to watch which I guess is an okay addition but if were the kind of person that would buy this game, wouldn’t you have watched all the episodes already?
It’s Rung Down The Curtain And Joined The Choir Invisible!
We here at DarkZero have seen some bad games over the years with stuff like 50 Cent: Bulletproof G Unit Edition, Spy vs. Spy and Family Guy leaving the worst taste in our month but after playing this we would gladly lock ourselves in an ‘A Clockwork Orange’ inspired Ludovico technique room where only those games are playable to get away from a title such as Little Britain: The Video Game.
This is An Ex-Game!
All in all the title is the epitome of a cheap cash-in and just shows how high Little Britain has fallen from the great first season it had. In all honesty I feel sorry for anyone that picked this up without reading some form of review beforehand. Even at the budget price of £15, anyone that buys it should still feel like they have been robbed of their hard earned cash. Even worse is that fact Gamerholix (publisher) and Game Republic (developers) will make money from this travesty… that just makes me sick.
Monty Python was a much better series anyway.
Nothing funny about this at all.