Kidz Sports – Crazy Mini Golf Wii Review
There are few things in this world that really scare me. Granted I have an inexplicable fear of emus and Barry Manilow, but aside from that I regard myself as a fairly fearless sort of guy. The continuing success of Data Design Interactive’s ‘Popcorn Arcade’ series of games, however, is the sort of terrifying phenomena equal only to Nuclear War and the Bee Gees. For those fortunate enough to have avoided the likes of Billy the Wizard, Myth Makers and the excellently titled – but diabolically torturous – ‘Ninjabread Man’, Popcorn Arcade is a budget range for the casual market, notorious for lacking in any sort of quality whatsoever. Imagine then, my delight upon opening Crazy Mini Golf, to see the Popcorn Arcade logo plastered all over the place.
It’s difficult for anyone to approach a game from a series of such notoriety with complete neutrality when previous experiences have been so incredibly dire, but going by the almost tasteful presentation box the initial impression of Crazy Mini Golf was that this could be the one to break the mould. The latest entry in the ‘Kidz Sports’ sub-brand, for around 25 pounds Crazy Mini Golf boasts four different courses of 18 holes each, and comes bundled with a telescopic golf club controller that cradles the Wii Remote which according to the box provides ‘the most realistic golf swing ever’. It doesn’t.
In fact for a large portion of the game swinging the club isn’t even a requirement. The game is split into two parts, Arcade and Simulation. Both feature the same courses and holes, giving the choice of full 18, front nine and back nine, but involve completely different control methods. Going by the reading on the on-screen power meter, in arcade mode the real-life golf club must be brought up to the point at which the desired amount of power lies, followed by a simple press of the B button to initiate the in-game swing. For anyone just starting up the game and jumping straight in to the arcade version of the game, the exclusion of real-life physical swinging is completely baffling, until you start up simulation mode, that is.
I’m not sure how many of the team over at DDI have ever played mini golf in real life, but the only thing they manage to simulate here is the utter frustration of having to play it in the first place. Utilising ‘the most realistic golf swing ever’, the process of hitting the ball in simulation mode consists of; bringing the club up just past the hitting point so that the game doesn’t assume you’re trying to hit it, holding the button at the desired point on the power meter, adjusting the the power once again when the game decides that the remote has been moved even thought it’s been held in the exact same place as before, swinging the club with right amount of force to hit the ball at the right speed, starting again when the game interprets the swing incorrectly.
This process continues for the entire length of simulation mode, usually resulting in bogeys, double bogeys and more often than not, forfeits following too many attempts. The inclusion of arcade mode becomes clear, when you consider that the three courses unavailable from the beginning can only be unlocked by finishing the course under par. An achievement that seems impossible using the simulation mode’s shoddy golf swing interface. It renders the game practically unplayable, and Arcade mode’s answer of loading the swing and pressing the button comes about as close to fun as rubbing salt into your eyes. The only saving grace is that some of the holes feature quite interesting obstacles, but given the lack of control, it’s never possible to fully appreciate them for what they are.
It would be bad enough if this was the only issue with the game but the overall presentation is shockingly poor, considering what can be, and has been done with the Wii’s hardware. Despite the sunny Caribbean settings, visually it manages to continue the trend of earlier games in the series by being both graphically unimpressive and in many areas downright broken. The ball often appears to be submerged in the ground, the characters clip through scenery and there are times when the ball can pass through objects on the course. The soundtrack consists of four or five MIDI tracks looped throughout, the most noticeable being ‘Guantanamera’ which after the hundredth time of hearing is likely to have you committing yourself to the local asylum, possibly embodying the ‘crazy’ part of the game’s title.
Interestingly Crazy Mini Golf does introduce Popcorn Arcade’s previously absent ‘NuYu’ system. Not so dissimilar from Nintendo’s Miis, the NuYu (new you – do you see?) is an on-screen representation of the player that can be saved to the Wii Remote and used in upcoming Popcorn Arcade titles, should they be fool enough to invest in them. It offers a few extras over Miis with a wider range of customisable clothing and hair styles, but the creation interface is far less streamlined and can feel rather clumsy. At one point during the creation process I spent ten minutes attempting to remove a hat, only to discover I would have to back out and start again to get rid of it.
The one thing they manage to get right is the telescopic golf club peripheral that comes with the game. It’s sturdy, fairly comfortable to grip, and is designed for both left and right handed players, unlike the game itself which doesn’t support a left handed option. Whether this could be considered enough to warrant a purchase however is pretty unlikely.
As it stands, Kidz Sports Crazy Mini Golf represents everything that is wrong with the Nintendo Wii’s casual market. There’s plenty of potential for fantastic games, but companies like DDI are more than happy to churn out any old rubbish, chuck in a plastic accessory to pique interest and watch as the easy money comes rolling in. To mention Wii Sports in the same sentence as Crazy Mini Golf is something of a travesty, but the former is a million times better, far more accessible and comes free with the Wii console. Crazy Mini Golf however should be avoided at all costs.
14 comments ↓
Golfadamie
December 23rd, 2008
wow
i love it !
Product Support
December 28th, 2008
the telescopic golf club peripheral you mentioned does not work for lefty’s. I wish the game did state that there was no left hand support and I would have stayed away. funny you mentioned the unlikeliness of someone staying away from purchasing this game because it does not offer left hand support. You must be right handed.
Johnny
January 30th, 2009
Spot on. It is baffling that a game so bad would force you to play it well in order to unlock 75% of the content. Who in their right mind locks three quarters of a game? That by definition is the opposite of casual, which this game pretends to be. Shame on Nintendo for licensing this garbage.
Stewart Green
March 21st, 2009
Hi DarkZero,
I’m disappointed you didn’t like our Crazy Mini Golf, your reviews are generally of a good quality, so I expected a better response to this game. Your preconceptions appear to have tainted your impartial review. This title is part of our newer range of titles which have improved quality and detail and address the criticism of previous titles. It was designed with a 5 times British champion Mini Golfer and it really is the best and most accurate club swing. Your review of Tiger woods which is a worthless any-movement any-direction, it works even if you flick it up, down,left right or backwards, yet you praise EA for a good first attempt (at 60 quid they should get it right! – we did!) Our club swing was designed along with the British world champion mini golfer, and it requires the correct swing motion. Please try again take the club and give the smallest slowest tap and this is exactly re-created, we interpolate the angle of rotation and teh motion sensor, ALL other games only use the motion, so they require a big swing to work. Wii golf can’t do this, as it also only detects a big motion, our sim mode is the most accurate and relaistic for small or large swings. We are trying to do better, if we had EA’s budgets we would already be a million times better, encouragement and a fair balanced review would help next time. Thanks. Also mention the interactive environments, fire flys, birds, boats, whales, lit swinging laterns, interactive elements with the fans blowing the balls, animated levels and the other players NuYus are interactive on the levels being able to encourage or mock you. This deserves a better non prejudiced review.
nexus
March 22nd, 2009
I wouldn’t worry Stu, Ian Dickenson is just a dick.
Steve
March 22nd, 2009
You people, are exactly whats wrong with gaming. This game has no soul, it was created directly for a market thats already stupidly saturated. Stop acting like this is your little baby and try a creative hand next time. Create something original and intresting then maybe i’ll bother to play it.
ps isn’t it sad about Jade Goody.
Ben
April 24th, 2009
This has finally got a UK release date of 22 May.
In response to Stewart’s feedback, Official Nintendo Magazine also gave Crazy Mini Golf a low score of 35/100.
You may make accusations of prejudice, but it’s normal to mention past games from the developer in a review. This has nothing to do with the score.
Looking at Metacritic, these low ratings are not uncommon…
“The redeeming thing about Myth Makers: Trixie in Toyland is that it’s difficult to find in stores.”
IGN on Myth Makers: Trixie in Toyland (1.4/10)
“One of the worst games ever created.”
Gamespot on Anubis II (1.5/10)
“These are dross of the highest order. Rip offs at budget price.”
Eurogamer on Anubis II (1/10)
“Easily one of the worst games for the Wii.”
IGN on Billy the Wizard: Rocket Broomstick Racing (2/10)
Seth
April 25th, 2009
You’re gonna make someone cry themselves to sleep tonight, Ben…
Ian
April 26th, 2009
This has been out for a while now Ben. I’ve seen it in a few gamestations.
Ben
April 26th, 2009
According to their PR agency it’s not until May!
It’s not on the Gamestation or GAME websites. You must have just been super lucky to get it in your local.
Ian
April 26th, 2009
That’s bizarre. God knows what’s going on there then.
Julie Collard
June 20th, 2009
I am sorry if it offends anyone, but we are relatively new to the Wii system and my entire household of 5 can’t stand this game. We have all played it once and have NO desire to play again. The kids did not even finish a full game. My biggest complaint about it is that it does not seem to allow to select left or right handed. My household is 60% left handed. It was difficult to attempt to play this backwards with my left hand or with my right. Sorry, saying the game stinks is really a compliment.
Mantis41
June 21st, 2009
Who are you kidding, this was horrible, it was like it was half finished or something…………………………. “Ok guys, times up, and the budgets run out. let’s se what you’ve got.”………….”That will have to do, let’s slap a menu screen on it, patch on the NuYu’s and find some music that won’t cost us anything.”………”Right ship it out, it’s not like we have a reputation to up hold, as long as we’re still making money.”……………….”There auctioning a container of dodgy clubs from Taiwan on Ebay.”……….”Good work Jonesey, call marketing and get them to raise the price $10 and put a spin on that club thing, that should sucker in a few idiots.”
simon
July 11th, 2009
I thought this game was pretty good. We had a bunch of family members over (ages 6 to 60) and we all thought it was fun. Sure, the music is a bit repetitive but the graphics are fun enough, (we all laughed at the characters clipping problems though) and the difficulty is spot on for a casual game. I’ve played it a few times and opened the other courses. I’ve played quite a few DDI games and they have all been terrible, but I think this one is a good one for them.