50 Cent: Bulletproof G Unit Edition PSP Review
We’ve had loads of Special Editions, a myriad of Ultimate Editions, and we seem to be overflowing with Collectors Editions we have never been graced with a G Unit Edition. That was until today… It is finally here but where is the fanfare? Where are the screaming girls making my eardrums hurt? Why are children crying? I’ll tell you why! This edition is in no way spectacular as it is just the moniker for the PSP version of 50 Cent: Bulletproof… oh and in case you did not know, 50 Cent: Bulletproof was the critically panned, laughed at and all round terrible console release that was garnered the label “Worst Game for the PS2 of 2005″… so we’re off to a great start it seems!
This version of the game is also developed by High Voltage… the same guys who worked on the original. Although the game tells the same story as the console version it does so in a different way. Oh, if you’re interested the story is all about someone’s homie called K-Dog kicking the bucket because he went and got shot (once) and 50 Cent (who got shot NINE TIMES) has being framed. All in all the story is as clichéd as you can get and just helps to propel anyone who chooses to play the game through a collection of rather grubby uninspired levels.
Bulletproof now adopts a top down approach (think Baulder’s Gate minus the fun) instead of the third person behind the back view of the original. This change of view helps improve the game slightly but offers nothing new to push 50 out of the below average, virtual hell-hole he has found himself in. Combat lacks any real form of skill or use of tactics and is just an exercise in moving forward, locking on to some enemy with the right shoulder button, then either shooting them or punching them repeatedly ’till they fall down. There are around 50 enemies in each level and the above method must be used time after time until you finally reach the end of the game and then realize; why did you waste so many hours of your life doing so?
The game tries to change things up a bit with little extras like one-button kill moves where you press square next to enemies which triggers a nice looking cutscene where 50 beats up the poor guy and the boss battles. Even these encounters get repetitive after a while. Finally, there is a multiplayer mode included but due to the general ineptitude of the fighting system you’d be better off washing your eyeball in a vat of acid than organizing a game with a few mates. The best compliment we can offer than game is that thankfully the High Voltage did not just do a direct port to the PSP otherwise DarkZero might have had to give their first sub 1.0 score ever.
If you like 50 Cent’s brand of music then the selection of around 50 tunes available in 50C: BGUE will be a little piece of heaven for you. Its soundtrack includes many tracks from various albums he released over the years including The Massacre, Get Rich or Die Tryin’, Beg for Mercy and Straight Outta Cashville. Of course if you are a fan you probably already own all his CD which in one foul swoop takes away the game’s main selling point. Sadly that’s the end of any compliments I have for the game’s audio as the sound effects are of an average standard with nothing really standing out. The voice work is also poor, with little to no emotion put into delivery of the lines. Every second word spoken also seems to be an expletive of some sort… you may even learn some new ones if you choose to play the game – who needs Brain Training? Graphics continue this same run-of-the-mill bog-standard approach. Everything about the game screams rush job. The textures all seem to be made from avery dark pallet and have a muddy unattractive feel to them. The characters also have a very blocky PSone era feel to them. The levels themselves seem like they were created by a drunken dog who flunked his final architecture exam.
Ultimately the game’s greatest problem is that it does not evolve as you play, with each level being more or less a carbon copy of the one that came before. It’s nigh on impossible for me to recommend this game to anyone, even fans of the controversial rapper and it is only really worth picking up if you find it with a sub £5 price in a grubby bargain bin. All in all 50C: BGUE is a very basic run-and-gun, leave your brain at the door as you enter, shooter. There is a small bit of fun on offer and I will admit when I first started to play the game I actually enjoyed it. Sadly as the game went on that small bit of fun shrivelled away at a brisk pace and was quickly replaced with complete and utter boredom. The game is probably best described as a shameless cash-in by 50 Cent and his label to try and exploit another part of the market to fill their pockets. It’s a sad fact that perhaps the game’s one and only achievement it that it has created one of the most interesting acronyms seen since the release of GRAW.
Parental Advisory: Crap Content