Blog

Christ! We’ve done another one. This time, it’s the incredible Fighting Angels on the PS2, kindly purchased and unwittingly donated by Andi.

This one’s probably not safe for work. It’s not obscene, or anything. It’s just weird.

Remember that Greg Hastings video we did about a month back? Well, it got a pretty warm reception, so we’ve decided to make it a regular thing, with a regular name: DoubleTap. Because there’s two of us, see. We wanted to call it Double Penetration, but we realised no-one would ever find us on Google without sifting through a great deal of harrowing imagery.

So, here’s the new one: Fairies and Dragons for the PC. We hope you enjoy it, because we sure as hell didn’t enjoy making it.

What gives, Japan? What did we lowly Westerners do to you? Did we offend you in some way?

I am quickly becoming sick and tired with the incredible gulf of time that forces its way inbetween release dates worldwide like the weird person who hangs out with you and your friends, y’know, the one who nobody really likes? No-one knows how they got there but damnit, they’re gonna get in your way anyway.

It all comes down to compatibility issues, apparently. But, seeing as how all of our equipment usually comes from Japanese companies in the first place, why do they deliberately give us different versions of things? Why are our games consoles PAL? Why, for the love of all that is good and holy, can they not simply be a games console, not discriminated like some bad form of racism?! I have a dream… I dream that no gamer should have to sit and wait for half a year just to see their much hyped new release finally become available in their region. I dream that all of my freaking Virtual Console games will work on my damned component cable. Thats right, I currently have 5 VC games that I can’t play without faffing around with the bloody wire. For you figures fans, thats £30 or 4000 Wii Points worth… wasted.

And it’s all because of this personal vendetta Japan has against us Westerners. Giving us inferior equipment. Well, you know what? Screw you Japan! I’ll build my OWN damn TV.

When he’s not out loitering, Alasdair likes to write his random thoughts down.
He’s told it’s called a ‘Blog’

P.S: Before anyone comes up offering an actual reason why we get different versions of stuff, I don’t want to hear it. Being British, complaining about stuff is the only enjoyment I get, leave me be!

P.P.S: I actually don’t have anything against Japan, or Japanese people. Nor does DarkZero. Or Britain. Or anyone else you think I represent.

People say GTA IV is bad for kids. I disagree.

There’s been less of a GTA uproar than I expected this time around, probably because the critical acclaim it’s received puts those who openly slate it in a far less comfortable position than that of the cushy high-horse many have been sitting on for years. Despite this there are still some that feel the content of the game is inappropriate, which seems quite reasonable to an extent even if you’re not a conservative Luddite. But when you boil down to it, what actually makes a game like GTA IV inappropriate?

The game’s protagonist Niko can be a rough character at times, but his actions are driven very much by his personal history and subsequent sense of character. He’s not a bad man, but he’s not a good man either. Some of the things Niko must do throughout the story are unpleasant, but they don’t seem out of context. The violence carried out on others throughout often feels unhinged and unnecessary, but that doesn’t make the sense of causality behind it all feel any less real.

All in all, if you’re playing GTA IV as if you are Niko then there’s no problem. It’s violent and crude at times, but in a considerably more intelligent manner than most action films manage to be. You might do some bad things playing as Niko, but if you’re a level minded individual then you’ll probably feel pretty guilty about it afterwards. In the hands of someone sensible GTA IV is gripping and thought-provoking. And this is where the problems begin…

In the context of the game there’s never any reason to go on a rampage. Sure, you can go cave that hooker’s head in, but what’s the point? You can go around beating up old ladies, but why would you want to? It’s not in Niko’s nature, and it’s not rewarded- so technically it’s really not fair to blame the game for the way that mindless idiots choose to use it. GTA IV gives you a vast amount of personal choice regarding how you behave, but makes it very clear in what context you’re supposed to be playing it. So if it’s not the motivation of the game’s character taking control, then who’s motivation is it? If you’re put within a brilliantly realistic version of New York and your first instinct is to cause harm to civilians… what kind of a person are you?

Just as Niko’s actions are dictated by context, so are ours when playing games. The mainstream media are obsessed with the idea that playing realistic games affects the way we behave in real life. There’s some truth to this, but it’s not a one-way door: The way we behave in real life also affects the way we play games.

The way in which people respond to the situations which GTA IV puts you in will depend on what kind of person you’ve become, a cumulative mish-mash of things you’ve seen, done, and experienced. One person might relish in the power of a brutal execution, another might feel slightly sickened by the situation they’ve been forced into. Very young children aside, I fail to see how age plays a part in this sense of judgment. If by the time you’re 16 you’re still not interested in doing anything other than running people over when playing games then chances are you’re a lost cause… GTA IV in the wrong hands could easily be a playground for murderers to rehearse in, but then again so could kitchens- and I can’t hear anyone talking about banning knives, can you?

Kids need to be exposed to bad things. It’s how you learn, it’s how you grow. Good videogames are perfect for learning; they put you in uncomfortable positions and force you to make decisions that you might not be comfortable with. They’ll help them develop their own sense of right and wrong, in a way that linear media like TV or film can’t quite manage. Parents are afraid of children becoming desensitized to violence and because of this avoid exposing their kids to it at all costs. But if you don’t introduce them to it, then who will? Little Jimmy from down the road, that’s who. Do you know what they’ll choose to play? Gears of War. Will they think about morality as they gun down swarms of chunky aliens in a haze of gore? Will they f**k.

GTA IV isn’t bad for kids, it’s bad for stupid people. How the hell are you going to fix that though, eh?

Like the rest of the country, I’ve become hopelessly addicted to Grand Theft Auto IV. It’s not often that I turn my Xbox on at 2am and still see TEN people online all playing the same game. In fact, if I’m honest, its not often I turn on my Xbox AT ALL, recently, but that is another story altogether. There are many tell tale signs that someone you know is addicted to GTA IV, including ignoring significant others, lack of sleep, calling in sick to work and developing an incredibly poor diet of junk food. Lucky for me, your intrepid journalist, I am already a single, insomniac, unemployed male currently living on a diet of Rustlers sandwiches and “2 for £2″ cans of Relentless, so the signs are currently unnoticable. Either the GTA addiction will finish me off, or diabetes.

I’m addicted to the single player game. I’m addicted to the multiplayer game. Most importantly, though, I’m addicted to the “moments”.

I’ve always been a big fan of gaming “moments”. Now, before you start firing off coments about the death of Aeris in Final Fantasy VII, or the ending of Metal Gear Solid 3 being gaming “moments”, I’d like you to shut up for a minute. Sure, they are landmark events on the average geeks gaming life, but genuine “moments”? To me, moments are unplanned, unscripted and unique events that happen when playing a videogame. The kind of thing that has you holding your breath with tension, laughing until you cry and above all else, has you boring the fucking life out of everyone you know for weeks after, as you recall your war stories.

OBVIOUSLY, a sandbox environment has far more scope for these wonderful random things to happen than say, a Mario game, but that is why I love GTA IV so much. The multiplayer is one huge, “moment-creating” machine! A single play session with a few friends will create the kind of stories that will irritate everyone you went for a drink mere hours after you were stood on the back of a boat, a good friend behind the wheel, while you shot several police helicopters out of the sky in front of the Statue of Liberty. Do they want to know about these things? No, probably not - some of your friends simply won’t have a vested interest in your online multiplayer exploits - but will you tell them anyway, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they’ll find it as interesting as you found it exciting at the time…

I think I’ll be hard pressed to find a game as entertaining as GTA IV for quite some time. The single player is like the best crime-based action movie you’ve ever seen. The multiplayer? Well, I’m sure the Kane and Lynch developers are gutted that their firefights were nowhere near as thrilling as being trapped behind a burning car in Liberty City, providing covering fire for one of your friends as they try and pick you up in a stolen helicopter. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael Mann, director of semi-legendary crime-thriller Heat, isn’t slightly upset with the fact that a random event within a virtual world sometimes ends up far more compelling than some of his classic gun battles. Providing, of course, if he has an Xbox Live Gold Account.

So, feel free to tell us all about your favourite moments so far in Liberty City. We’re all friends here - we’d love to listen.