Andi’s Blog

Like the rest of the country, I’ve become hopelessly addicted to Grand Theft Auto IV. It’s not often that I turn my Xbox on at 2am and still see TEN people online all playing the same game. In fact, if I’m honest, its not often I turn on my Xbox AT ALL, recently, but that is another story altogether. There are many tell tale signs that someone you know is addicted to GTA IV, including ignoring significant others, lack of sleep, calling in sick to work and developing an incredibly poor diet of junk food. Lucky for me, your intrepid journalist, I am already a single, insomniac, unemployed male currently living on a diet of Rustlers sandwiches and “2 for £2″ cans of Relentless, so the signs are currently unnoticable. Either the GTA addiction will finish me off, or diabetes.

I’m addicted to the single player game. I’m addicted to the multiplayer game. Most importantly, though, I’m addicted to the “moments”.

I’ve always been a big fan of gaming “moments”. Now, before you start firing off coments about the death of Aeris in Final Fantasy VII, or the ending of Metal Gear Solid 3 being gaming “moments”, I’d like you to shut up for a minute. Sure, they are landmark events on the average geeks gaming life, but genuine “moments”? To me, moments are unplanned, unscripted and unique events that happen when playing a videogame. The kind of thing that has you holding your breath with tension, laughing until you cry and above all else, has you boring the fucking life out of everyone you know for weeks after, as you recall your war stories.

OBVIOUSLY, a sandbox environment has far more scope for these wonderful random things to happen than say, a Mario game, but that is why I love GTA IV so much. The multiplayer is one huge, “moment-creating” machine! A single play session with a few friends will create the kind of stories that will irritate everyone you went for a drink mere hours after you were stood on the back of a boat, a good friend behind the wheel, while you shot several police helicopters out of the sky in front of the Statue of Liberty. Do they want to know about these things? No, probably not - some of your friends simply won’t have a vested interest in your online multiplayer exploits - but will you tell them anyway, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they’ll find it as interesting as you found it exciting at the time…

I think I’ll be hard pressed to find a game as entertaining as GTA IV for quite some time. The single player is like the best crime-based action movie you’ve ever seen. The multiplayer? Well, I’m sure the Kane and Lynch developers are gutted that their firefights were nowhere near as thrilling as being trapped behind a burning car in Liberty City, providing covering fire for one of your friends as they try and pick you up in a stolen helicopter. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael Mann, director of semi-legendary crime-thriller Heat, isn’t slightly upset with the fact that a random event within a virtual world sometimes ends up far more compelling than some of his classic gun battles. Providing, of course, if he has an Xbox Live Gold Account.

So, feel free to tell us all about your favourite moments so far in Liberty City. We’re all friends here - we’d love to listen.

Hello. My name is Andi, one of the writers here for DarkZero. I’ve refrained from posting anything on the blog until recently, as most of it is fairly long and thoughtful commentary, whereas I tend to use a blog to dump my thoughts - stuff that isn’t article-worthy. That doesn’t mean that the odd article won’t pop up here, it is just more of a braindump.

It can be found at http://darkzero.co.uk/andi/.

I’m going out tonight, and I’m going to get very, very drunk indeed. It isn’t big or clever, but it is a birthday, so I’ve got no choice really. What I will need, however, is some entertainment tomorrow afternoon, once I’ve woken up, ejected the contents of my stomach and started to regain the power of sight. It isn’t as easy as throwing on any game, as most of them are just way too stressful an experience.

The thing is, when you’re in a fragile state, you don’t want anything too stressful or intense. You want simple, peaceful and happy games – something to make you forget all those horrible flashbacks to the night before, or the fast cycle that is taking place in your gut. In the same way that pre-school television is all the human mind can truly process at 6am on a Monday morning, there are some games that are just way beyond comprehension after a skinful of Carlsberg.

Imagine hungover a Gears of War session, in all its Hi-Def glory, 5:1 surround battlefield screams and explosions blasting at you, forcing you into the foetal position wishing for it all to end. How about dealing with Silent Hill 2’s ropey controls, awkward cameras and oppressive atmosphere? It’d surely be only a matter of time before you fall asleep on your couch, have some of the worst daydreams known to man then wake up in a small pool of thick vomit. It doesn’t bear thinking about, really.

How about booting up a Call of Duty 4 deathmatch, only to hear the hundreds of high-pitched, whiny American childrencalling you every racist, homophobic slur under the sun, constantly, while you get frustratingly blown to pieces by a barrage of grenade every two seconds? Actually, you’d be livid about that, hungover or otherwise.

Perhaps something can be created? Preferably for the Wii, as waving a remote listlessly towards a screen is about as much I will be able to manage tomorrow. There would be no violence, scares or anything else that could provoke an unwanted resurgence of last nights Kebab. No loud noises, or explosions, no gunshots. It needs a peaceful, simple setting that is easy on the eyes and simple to navigate, yet offers just enough to do that you don’t completely zone out and wake up hours later, having missed most of the day and now stand no chance of waking up in time for work.

I think I just indirectly reviewed Endless Ocean. I’ll be playing that tomorrow.